New Beginnings

Some of you may have hard the wonderful news already, but just in case you have not....I got a preschool teaching job this week!!  And I start Monday!! Woo-Hoo!!! I will be teaching at Holy Angels Preschool which is part of St. Isidore's Catholic School in Yuba City.  I know the lead teacher/director of the center and one of her aides that is also just starting.  I met a few of the other gals and they all seem very nice, down to earth, and laid back. 

I will be in charge of the Busy Bee class of 3 year-olds, which currently has 4 students enrolled in that class. I can have up to 8 students at a time without an aide, which has been the case for quite a while.  My class gets to mingle with the larger 4 year old class for recess, lunch time, and nap time.  The preschool is open 7 am-6 pm, but my hours will be 7:45 am - 2 pm (unless i am needed as a sub or something like that).

Today I volunteered during class time to meet the teacher I am replacing, and 3/4 of my students were there. I got a feel of what daily routine is like for them, found where everything is, and just got comfortable with my surroundings. 

I got a list of themes for the week and what letters/numbers are of the week from the 4 year-old class teacher that she is using, so I can piggy-back off her if I want...I may and I may not, we will see how things go.  But I get to do all my own lesson plans and schedule of the day.  Since they only have class time for  2 1/2 hours (half hours is recess), I won't have to make extensive plans.  I came home with 5 CD's with music on them and 3 large curriculum books to look over. I know I will be very busy this weekend! LOL!

Thanks so much to Julia who told me about tihs position and to Mrs. A for trusting me to work for her. I promise I won't let you down. ;)

My Affirmation

A couple weeks back we were challenged by Our lovely Angel Leader to write an Affirmation.  This is something that we should have with us to read when we are feeling down or need a Pink-Pick-Me-Up. Also, we should be reciting it out loud to ourselves at least once a day, preferably in the morning to get us going.

I am posting it on my bathroom mirror at my house and on my mirror that I use to get ready at Chevy Boy's house.  It is still a work in progress, but our life is a work in progress, is it not? So, just like life changes, my affirmation will be tweaked after goals are reached. ;)

Without further ado, here it is!

I am a Confident, Vivacious, Beautiful woman.
I speak from my Heart, and stand up for my Beliefs.
I stay positive, no matter my surroundings and see the good of every change in life.
I take pride in how I represent myself as I look forward to meeting professional women like me.
I manage my time wisely, as it being precious to each of us.
I teach women how to accent their beauty and find their specialty.
I assist others in reaching their dreams as I make my own dreams come true.
I am Bold for God, following my path in life that he has set for me.
I am a natural Leader.  I handle confrontation with ease.
I am excellent at Money Management and spend frugally on necessities.

Workin' hard For the $$$

I have to apologize for not posting in a while.  But its because I have been busy!!! ;)  I just barely made Star Consultant by the skin of my teeth!...Is that how that saying goes? my mom says it. lol! I have had to reinvest almost everything from my sales with minimal profit, and ask for a little help to make it happen, but it did happen!! Now I really need to kick it up and make some money to pay upcoming bills. Now, I just need to add 5 more team members (w/a total of 10), get my team motivated, and I can sart my DIQ process! For those of you out of the MK world, DIQ is Director In Qualification, a 4 month period where I trach my progess and my team's process as i continue to add team members. If I make it to the end of the 4 months, reaching goals set by the company, they grant me the ruling of Princes Director!

And I am super excited that I have a wonderful new team member, LT! We have known people in each other's lives in round about ways since high school, but just connected recently.  Like me, LT needs MK in her life to make extra money to support her family. It will be very exciting to grow along with her in this business and see her transformation from mommy and wife to mommy, wife, and MK Consultant.  I know she will be great at this business!

I get pampered tomorrow at a special Star Consultant Day in Chico.  I am happy to say that I do have a team member who made Star as well, but she will be doing a booth tomorrow instead of spending the day with me.  How ironic, right?  She is doing fabulous as well, just need to get her back in the swing of things in our unit. I haven't seen her in a few weeks or her sis, and miss them both at our weekly success meetings.  I definately need to check in with them this weekend.

On Tuesday we are doing Glamour/Boudoir mini photo shoots!  I will be doing a Glamour phot myself, so I have a gorgeous pic I can share with you all, and put on my website for customers.  But it will deffinately be fun to help out with makeup for all of our non-consultant models.  Like my mom!  My gorgeous mother is doing a photo! A gift from me for all the support in my business.  She is so beautiful already that she doesn't need much.  But we will have fun getting her all glammed up for the shoot. Not sure what kind of photo she will be doing...she may be getting a little risque...hehe!!  All in all, we will have a blast on tuesday!  Looking forward to more parties, more team members, and a lot more fun!!

Love Sweet Love

After that last post, I realized I need to do a follow up post about how content I am now.  I am happy with my love life now, and I know I would have never been completely happy with how things were 4 years ago.  I know I deserve better than what that guy could have ever given me.  And I now have what I deserve.  I am spoiled, getting gifts and such too often from Chevy Boy. Now we all know what I really want is something sparkly that fits perfectly on my left ring finger, but if he is not ready for that, then I will wait patiently.  But until that happens, I will gladly take all the unconditional love for who I am on the inside and out.  I will take all the spoiling that recently includes practically half of my Dallas trip paid for, fake diamonds, gas money, a 49er jersey to where to upcoming games (that are already paid for).  We are even looking for a desk for the Boy's house so when I am there I can do my work in my own space that can be decorated in pink and sparkles.  He likes my cooking and eats without complaint (even though sometimes I could ease up on the garlic or other seasonings).  He lets me fill up his netflix account with girly rom-com's.  I can be my silly self and feel completely comfortable in my sweats, hair up and little makeup on around Chevy Boy.  He puts other first, and appreciates family time. I know he loves me for me, and appreciates me for who I truly am.  We do not take each other for granted, and I cherish every day that we get to spend with each other.  He is everything I have dreamed about, but nothing like I had imagined.
Thank you, Chevy Boy, for showing me what real true love is like. *I Love You!*

Bittersweet Revenge

It happened again last night. Jackass crept into one of my dreams.  It was a strange one, but aren't they all?  This time, I was "faking" being in love with him to catch him in the act.  Chevy Boy was around, and I was in love with him, but I couldn't let him know what was going on.  Jackass was getting ready to go out with the guys and I was not tagging along (just like old times).  Except this time, I knew his plan.  Jules and I were like little spies, planning on following him to see if he did the awful deed.  If we could catch him, then we would pop up and call him on all of his BS.  He would be humiliated....just like I felt when I found I had been decieved by him.

It has been 4 years since we ended things.  4 years since I found out that I was being played by a man that I thought loved me.  And since, I have found a wonderful man that really loves me for who I am, and treats me like I deserve to be treated.  But, for some reason, I just can't let this go.  WHY?!?!  Is this normal?  I just want to forget about it, and as soon as I stop thinking about it, something like this happens.  Every few months I have another dream about him, and it is usually similar to this one.  We are together, but not together, I try to hurt him, like he did me.  And I usually wake up before getting my sweet revenge.

I can remember it like it was yesterday.  Thank God for lil K being there by my side, keeping me strong.  When I found out, I met him at his house, he admitted to it when I told him I knew (at least the one time that i knew of), I emptied my drawer in his bedroom and left.  I know it would have never lasted, and that how things ended were the best and worst at the same time; I would have never been the one to call it quits. I never gave him the satisfaction of knowing how I felt, how wounded I was. I guess I wanted him to wonder about how much or how little I hurt.  Was I over him in a split second, moving on by the next weekend? I pretended I was.  I think never giving him the satisfaction of knowing that, has not given me the closure that I wanted deep down inside. I can just hope and pray that he alredy has or will someday get what he deserves.  What goes around

When I Grow Up

Remember when you were young, and your parents asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? You usually said something silly and untainable? I wanted to be a singer, like Reba McEntire.  My dad would tell us that kind of thing hardly ever happened.  I would need a job that could support a famly, I should never depend on a man to support me, and I should be realistic in my goals.  It's nice to have a realist in the family, eh?  I couldn't agree more on that part about not depending on a man because you just never know.

Then and now, when I think about a future family with a husband and children, I think about being a cute homemaker. I think about being home to cook meals for my family, being able to have children and be home with them, being able to take care of the house while my husband is working. And yes, I also would like a white picket fence, a couple cats and dogs, 2.5 children, and a pretty SUV to drive around town.  Sounds silly, right? Like that can happen with me staying at home,  and not have to live paycheck to paycheck.

Well, I am taking everything my father said into context, and my dreams about a family, and I want to make it all work with my MK career.  Funny, how I can do this while not working more than 20-30 hours a week at most, if I really put my mind to it.  It's not easy, that's for sure.  I just can't sit at a desk, waiting for the phone to ring. But I am trying, and putting forth all my effort.

Like I had mentioned in my previous post, I am having to prove to some that I am making this MK thing work as a career, and Chevy Boy is one of those people.  We want to get married and have children, but not anytime soon, according to him.  He wants us to be "ready" and prepared for everything (and he thinks I am the planner...).  I see his point, and understand. He also wants to wait for me to finish school before we make any life changing decisions.  My thought is that just because I graduate with a degree does not mean that I will have a job waiting for me, and at that, a well paying one!  Which is another reason I am shooting for directorship within the next 6 months.  I want to prove to him we are ready to take that next step, meaning I am ready financially.  I want to contribute to a household, and not have him have to pay for everything.  I would prefer sooner than later, and not just because of a big wedding (this may lead to another post). He believes in me, and supports my career, and is supportive of when  I have to work.  In fact, I mark all my appointments on his calendar so he knows when I can't spend time with him and when to plan stuff.  He is impressed with all this pink on his calendar. ;-)  I think we all will believe it when the big IT happens.

Taking a Semester Off

So I am taking off a semester of school this semester.  Some get it, some don't.  But that's okay because it is my decision about my life.  I came back from Seminar in Dallas with the mindset to not borrow any more money from my parents.  I have come to depend on them when my bank account gets low, and that's not fair to them.  I need to take responsibility for myself and my actions.  And it is starting now.  This is also starting with school. When we as a team (my wonderful parents and I) decided that I should go back to school 3 years ago, times were good and they could afford to pay for it.  Now, times are rough for everyone, and I don't want my school to be a burden for my parents. I can get financial aid now due to my age (I couldn't before because I lived at home, and according to the state my parents made too much).  But I missed the deadline to apply for financial aid for this semester.  So, money is half of the reason why I am not going to school this semester; i dont want my parents to have to pay for it, I can't afford it right now, and no financial aid at the moment.

I also had a bit of a revelation at seminar.  I am noticing an increase of women that are former teachers and current directors in this wonderful business that I am a part of.  As some of you may know, I have been studying child development the last few semesters and working toward teaching.  I love children and being around them, helping them learn, and basically everything about them (mainly from birth through tween age).  But, as we all know, it is not looking great in the world today for teachers.  I have some MK sisters that are also teachers and it's scary to hear about pink slips, budget cuts, payroll cuts.  I don't want to put myself through that if I don't have to.  Also, why rack up debt of student loans for a degree that is going to sit on a shelf and not get used?

I will tell you a little bit about my MK director: former teacher, softball coach, and volleyball coach. After becoming a director, building her team, and consistently working her business, she now makes more money working around 20 hours a week than she ever would teaching and coaching, which was at least 50-60 hours a week. And she has family time, can provide for her children without having to choose between work and her family.

I guess I am getting at that I can make this business work. I am making this business work, and I will continue to work my business to better benefit me and my family.  And I am not so sure about teaching. It is nice to know that I will have that as an option, but I am not sure if I will need it at the rate I am going! :)  But, for the past year, I have been saying that I am going to be a director and haven't done it yet. So I can see why some would be skeptical about me working and if I will stick with it.  Which is why I am here to prove to them that I am doing it! I am really working!! And it feels damn good!!!

Switching Things Up

So, I have now changed the name of my Blog.  It was formerly "the Life & Times of a 27 year old Dabbler".  But I have realized the Dabbler in me is becoming less and less.  I have found my purpose in life! Hopefully this means the I will no longer be known as the one who just takes her time, still figuring things out, being the "baby of the family".  I will probably still touch on how I got to where I am today, but I do not want to dwell on the past.  I want to move forward in life and embrace every moment of it!

I want to now be the woman who made something wonderful out of life! She didn't just go get a job because its the thing to do.  I want to be someone who is making a difference in lives of women everywhere and using my personal sales business to do it!  It's kinda funny when I heard our slogan is "Enriching Women's Lives", because I didn't fully understand what that meant at the time.  But, I get it now.  It means giving them confidence, helping self-esteem grow in women everywhere! Whether it's a shade of lipstick, helping find the right skin care, or giving a woman an oppurtunity that no one else would...that is all enriching lives of women!  This is my "why" and my drive to get out of bed every day and get on the phone, share a smile and a business card with someone new, to help support my team and keep them motivated!

Being a Princess is fun...after all, doesn't every little girl go through a "princess phase"? I want to help all of us to remember what that felt like, that importance to others.  It means to hold your head high and demand respect from yourself and others.  I beleive if you treat others with Golden Rule Service and a Go-Give Spirit, and you will get that in return. It's like Pay It Forward...Do unto others as you would like done unto you...They all work together to make this world a prettier place to live in. As women, we tend to put ourselves on the back-burner and put everyone else's needs first.  We need to remember to take time for ourselves, to keep ourselves in check and balance; otherwise we may lose ourself in our surroundings.  And what is that teaching the next generation of young women?  All of this is what it means to me to be a Princess.

OMG! Always in the middle of a post, Partner in Crime texts me with her Dove Chocolate quote of the day: A bubble bath can matter more than a clean kitchen.
Another Great Quote to leave you with: Love Yourself. Dare to Dream. Live on Purpose.

Pay now, Play later or Play now, Pay later???

So there are is a lot going on right now, and it's all costing a lot of money! Money, that I am working on getting by working, but do not have very much of right now because work is going slower than I would like it to. I want to do it all, but I'm afraid I can't afford it all, which means I have to pick and choose.  I do not have any $ in savings to just say ok, yeah, I can do that, and that, and that....

For starters, Chevy Boy and I want to take a vacation, which we have never done in our 3 years of being together. Well, last summer we took a 3 day trip to Reno, but that is not really a vacation. We still aren't talking about something extravagant. But a 5 day trip or so to So Cal. We want to go to Universal Studios (I've only been once for 1 day) and Disneyland (Chevy Boy has only been once when he was about 10 or so). Gotta go to Midevil Times too! Maybe Hearst Castle (everyone that has been, raves and says we gotta see it). We'd drive down, and stay somewhere nice but deffinately nothing topnotch. This would be a vacation on a budget, which is totally doable.  We keep talking about it, but other things (usually my things for work) keep pushing back our vacation.  I feel like its not fair to him to choose my career again over "us". He doesn't look at it this way, thank goodness! He is such a sweetie with a big heart that he gets now why I do what I do and what I have to do to keep my motivation going.  We were talking last night with some of the Boy's fam and they want to go too! Which would be so exciting and fun to have a group of 6 going!!! But, we are looking at going within the next 2-3 months.

Let's see, what else is going on? Day or weekend trip with my mom, aunt's, cousins, and my nanny (mom's mom) for nanny's b-day this October.  And I deffinately want to pay my own way. I do not want to lean on anyone (especially my mom because she has bailed me out enough and that's a whole nother post!) to pay for my fun. So there is about $100 for food and fun if it's just a day trip, $150-$200 if it's an over-nighter somewhere.

The girlfriends want to do a roadtrip/day trip, possibly for an upcoming Birthday Girl who deffinately deserves an extra special day. This gal is there for all of us at a drop of a hat, and always up for a good time without complaint. I also feel like she hasn't had time to "be a kid" enough throughout her life, and has had to take care of her younger siblings too often. I think sometimes she gets shafted since she is quiet and just goes with the flow and I feel deep down we should be making her birthday extra special for her to show her how much she means to us. So, here is about another $100 easy for a day trip somewhere.

Which leads me to also in October is another fun trip for work that is I know is deffinately worth going to. I know I will get the motivation and recognition I love, and the training I need to keep my business growing and in full swing. But, we are looking at at least another $300 for this. And what if none of my team members go? I know I need to go if they go. I need to lead by example. "the speed of the leader is the speed of the gang!" I get it now! But they have already  made plans before this extra job came into play, and I understand where they are coming from....either have something going on right before or right after this trip....don't want to leave kids behind for that long of a time...yeah, I get it.  And I am not going to pressure them to go. I have said my peice and I am leaving it up to them.

I feel like my career has won too many times over my personal life in the past year.  Last October I chose the career over mother-daughter time at a church retreat.  If I didn't go to Texas, Chevy Boy and I could have gone on vacation already.  Which, by the way, I am soo thankful that I did go to Texas! I know I wouldn't be shooting for the moom now with my business if I didn't go to Texas.  I am not at all blaming my business. In fact, I blame myself for waiting until now to get off my ass and move my business like I should! But we cannot go back in time and work harder in the past, so no use dwelling on that and making myself feel worse. 

I know the boss says this is all to be expected when you are moving up the ladder! Your friends and family will understand when you make it to the top and then can really afford to Play without feeling guilty. But then, when I make it directorship, I really have a whole team looking up to me that I have to be there for. So I just can't do this, or do that still. Pay now, play later they say! But I feel like the past year, I have been using company events to "pay now" and now it's time to Play with those that deserve it. This is all something internal that I need to decide what is more important to me right now.  I feel as though I owe it to everyone else (non-business people) to spend time with them now. But I have also made commitments to the career gals.  I just know whichever I decide, I will be letting some people down because I can't do it all.
I am not making any decisions now, but will jsut keep working this next week or two and see how it goes.

Fear vs Faith

There is a saying in my business that I have heard time and time again. "Fear & Faith cannot live in the same house".  The first time I heard this, it dawned on me that I had Fear "living in my house" aka in my head, and I needed Faith!!  Even though I think I heard this at a weekly success meeting for my business, it is very relateable to any and all aspects of someone's life!  A career, a relationship, a goal, being stuck in a comfort zone.

I have let Fear win too often in all of the above.  I knew what it mean the first time I heard it, and I knew I wanted Faith, but I didn't know internally how to let the Faith in.  I couldn't let go of the Fear....oh my goodness, all the "what-ifs"!!!  Now I am learning how to turn those "what-ifs" into positive goals.  I think what I have really been scared of all along is "what if I succeed?"  Then what? I can't stop, and go back. And who would want to?  Who in thier right mind would let the Faith in, and succeed at a accomplishing a goal and then say "nevermind, I don't want it".  What I am leading to is that what if the real fear is not whether or not we want something, what if it's really thinking "are we worthy of it?"  Unfortunately, I do think that is the case some of the time.  And to answer that last question, YES!! Each and every one of us is Worthy! We are worthy of a loving relationship, of a peaceful home, of a happy career, of great friends and family, etc.

It has taken me about a year to really start to kick out Fear and let Faith in. It's an internall struggle I have almost every day.  I have to make the decision that today is going to be a great day!!! I will have faith in God to keep me safe, and to provide for me what is needed to get through the day.  Therefore I will also have faith that my plan of action will work, if I work at it. Almost every day I remind myself that Fear and Faith cannot live in the same house, and today I am choosing Faith! 

I guess this relates to a quote a friend texted me today: I am successful because I know that God gives me the ingrediants for my daily bread, but He expects me to do the baking. We have to allow God to work in our lives but at the same time, we need to follow His plan for us.

Another Great quote just recieved by a Dove Chocolate: "Keep your promises to yourself and to others."  Promise outloud that every day you are going to let Faith defeat Fear.  Have Faith in yourself that you can do it and it will happen!

So I know this is kind of a bunch of rambling, and may not make sense to some, but I needed to let all that out. And I promise, it won't all be internal conflicts on this blog, but I do have quite a few so they will probably be aired here. So thanks for reading!

Self-Help Books

I started a new book about a week ago, "Women Food & God" by Geneen Roth.  I saw this author on Oprah a few weeks back talking about this book, and it resignated with me.  She talked about how people, but mainly women, will turn to food for comfort.  We can use food as a short-term "problem-solver" when the going gets tough. I thought, well, since I am trying to really go forth in changing old habits and find my "meaning in life", and I like to read, I will give this book a try.


Roth mentioned that after reading this book, if used correctly, one will never diet again.  I thought to myself, what could it hurt? Maybe I should give this book a try.  So, as I mentioned, I started reading this book about a week ago, and I am now about 1/4 of the way through. OMG!!  There are other women out there like me!  I have never read a "self-help book" or thought much of them. I didn't even think of this book in that category until now. This book relates to emotional eating, and discusses how food and God (or whatever spiritual beleifs you may have) go hand in hand. I am not sure how much I want to divulge into my private thoughts for anyone reading this, but here is your warning.  If I start, it may get ugly.  If you feel the same and really understand a place like mine or similar, then, please feel free to comment. Otherwise, I do not ask for your pity. If you have never dealt with food relating to emotion, then you are lucky and high-five to you!

I like food, and always have. I have also been up and down in my weight since I satarted getting rounder around the age of 8. I have tried a few different diets that have been short-lived fixes to my unhappiness with my body. After my last diet and gaining all my lost weight back over the last 3 years, I swore I would never diet again. I have realized that in order for something to last, you have to stick with it. There is no such thing as a long term fix with a short term change. Some may wonder why I just don't join a gym then, and lose weight in a healthy way. I have joined gyms, attended aerobics classes, done a little weight training, spent hours on a treadmill, etc. I do not like it and it does not make me feel good. The only thing that I think of when at the gym, or when thinking about a gym, is that I am only there to make myself thinner. It is for the sole purpose to appear healthy and trim.I know this is not the case for most, but just sharing my personal opinion and thoughts for myself. I'll leave my feelings toward a gym at that for now.

We got a First Timer!!

So, I have always wanted to be a writer. In high school, I assumed being a co-editor of my Senior Yearbook meant I totally had an "in" as a future journalist for Mtv. I have kept journals, and even started writing a book in my teen years (It was pretty lame, i'll spare you details).  I like to share my opinions. I wear my heart on my sleeve and like to share my feelings with others (mainly because my face tells it all, whatever the mood may be).

I have also always been a "dabbler". I am 27 years old, and have yet to "graduate" from the local junior college. I am a certified dental assistant, but after 3 years in that glamourous biz in my early 20's, I decided that wasn't the life I wanted "forever" but am glad I do have it to fall back on (which I pray never happens).

About 2 years ago, I started a little personal sales business, which I now happen to love! I beleive this is something I am great at, and it gives me wonderful self-confidence and makes me feel beautiful all at the same time, which has not been the case about 50% of my life (I'm a great faker). I will be mentioning this endevour in my blog from time to time, but I will not be using my blog "to sell myself"...as in my business, not my body or soul. haha!

This blog is more for me to find myself than to enlighten others. I'll be digging up some personal stuff to help me identify myself now.  I will not hold anyone accountable for my actions except myself. But maybe this will help others as it helps me.  I guess that would be my 1 wish for this blog: that maybe, just maybe, there are others out there that can relate to me and let them know they are not alone.  Who knows, maybe I'll get a book deal someday based on my writings, and my journalist dream will come true...minus the whole "Mtv portion".  If Lauren Conrad can do it, anyone can!